Welcome to Humble's Ford!
Legends of Humble's Ford
Humble’s Ford is the middle of the three towns in Crescent Valley. No longer the center of trade for the “Biguns” [Monstrous Humanoids of the Red Hills] or the “Really Biguns” [Giants and Giantkind from the Scab], it has instead become the center of the various divine and arcane arts for the region, among other unacceptable pastimes. Anything too dangerous for the larger township of Angel Springs or not traditional enough for Hovel ends up in Humble’s Ford. The old phrase, “Be it ever so humble” has a totally different meaning when applied to Humble’s Ford by the rest of the Crescent Valley. Here it means the opposite: brash, adventurous, bold, and unseemly.
A loose group of Mages [meaning three] called the Second Dinner Club, lives here in a ramshackle tower, which they use for experimentation. Their claim to competence, though is that they are in charge of maintaining the “Giant Towers” that keep the Giant’s Spring Raids at bay. They succeed mostly, but with difficulty. [See "Adventuring Tales," below, for more details on this!]
Despite the reputation of the Hamlet, a high ranking priest of Flower makes her home here and serves as the only temple in the village. It seems that Flower herself, while frozen at the age of 13, visited the hamlet and “loved the flowers.” Now, flowers of each season bloom in turn no matter the weather or catastrophe. The Hairfeet clan is very busy, but no one usually can or will say what business the Hairfeet are currently up to. They have caravans regularly stopping in the street in front of their business and staying there for days despite the complaints of Mulberry Drinkwater, the town’s self-proclaimed “beauty queen.”
The town sports two inns: The Belly Buster and The Dancing Pig, which are fierce competitors. Everyone in town is known as “Busters” or “Pits” according to which pub they patron. Those who visit both are called “Pleasers.” Pleasers are often seen as disloyal, and are not usually treated as well as Busters or Pits at their respective taverns. Bartenders will give them diluted drinks, or take far longer than the norm to give them anything. Waitresses will screw up their orders slightly on purpose, or drop a plate of food on their table from time to time. It is obvious to anyone who's ever stepped foot into one of the taverns that they are fierce competitors, and both the Busters and the Pits are dead set in their minds that the other pub is full of nothing but pure evil!
It is common knowledge throughout Humble’s Ford that there are two taverns. That is, until one walks into the Belly Buster or the Dancing Pig. Once inside of either one, it is often quickly forgotten that there is indeed another pub down the street. This is due to the family-type atmosphere that is instantly felt after stepping through their doors. Everyone inside is friendly and outgoing. Almost instantly, the patrons of the chosen pub become like extended clan and family.
Both taverns are known to have different styles, though only the Pleasers have the benefit of enjoying both, or so they think. The Belly Buster is known around the valley for it's spectacular dishes of everything from lamb chops to grilled salmon, from perfectly cooked chicken & eggs to finely aged cheeses of every kind! Most "Busters" can be found in the tavern chowing down on a different dish almost every night and day. The BB has a few drinks to choose from, but next to nothing compared to the Dancing Pig. The DP is named so due to it's large central fancy dancefloor, and it's Wold-wide assortment of ales, beers, liquors, wines, and every other tasty drink one could imagine! Most "Pits" can be seen drinking like fish and getting their boogie on in their favorite pub at least 4 nights of any given week.
The general store is owned by Pirnook Deeppockets. He is stingy to the bone; however, he is a shrewd businessman and knows which side his bread is buttered, though he hates the phrase. In fact, he keeps a list of annoying things folks say on the outside of his store with a pronouncement that they cannot be uttered inside.
Humble’s Burrow is the traditional home for the current mayor, who is Bingo BumbleLuck. A gossip and social climber of modest ability, he is the perfect mayor for a town full of halflings that don’t fit into the big Angel Springs and its socializing rich folk, or the traditionalists of Hovel.
The Slings and Arrows shop is one of the busiest buildings in the commercial area. In a prime location on the main road running through town, it is hard to miss Hugo and Primula PipeLeaf’s place of business. Once it was just a shop for Hugo’s wooden crafts and weapons to be sold, but after he married Primula, they couple added another room onto the building to hold all of the armors and metal weapons to be held in as well. The place is always bustling with people wanting new means to protect themselves, and the PipeLeafs are well known to have the best deal in the valley for such things.
These are the characters, past and present, that have been featured in this game.
|Alleah Lighttouch||Rob C||Female||Halfling||Bloodwitch 3 / Cleric 2 / Mystic Theurge 3||... appearance ...|
|Bliss||Cayzle||Male||Halfling||Fighter 2 / Bloodwitch 4 / Shadow Dancer 2||... appearance ...|
|Kezzem Blacklyng Quickfoot||Brian W||Male||Halfling||Rogue 8||... appearance ...|
|Murphy Bumblebee Leafwin Pipewood||Kim M||Male||Halfling||Druid 8||... appearance ...|
|Pressi "Diamond Dust" Silverglove||Melvin P||Female||Halfling||Monk 5 / Rogue 3||... appearance ...|
|Shel Breezelee Kromnite||Gerald V||Female||Halfling||Sorceror 8||... appearance ...|
|Tendel||Robert M||Male||Halfling||Cleric 8||... appearance ...|
Alomorn Millstone - Halfling Male - Rogue. Played by Scott Weber
Alouryn Buttercup Bumblebottom - Halfling Female – Cleric. Played by Vaughn Mitchell (now an NPC)
Bob Danderfluff LaRue ("Hazel") - Halfling Male - Ranger. Played by Corsario (David Sol)
Cameron Honeytamer Steelshaper - Halfling Male - Cleric / Avenger. Played by David Feest
Edric Lowbrook - Halfling Male – Fighter. Played by Damian Clementi
Eral Sunstrider - Halfling Male – Cleric. Played by Andrew Skomrock
Flimsipold “Hinn Billy” Williewhim - Halfling Male – Bard. Played by Cătălin Neagu
Podo Danderfluff Pipewood - Halfling Male - Monk. Played by Jon Paul Ward
Odo Tosscobble Barfoot - Halfling Male – Fighter. Played by Matthew Ballantyne
Trillium 'Trill' Dragonstone Fastfinger - Female Halfling Rogue/Ranger. Played by Kent Lewis.
Zylo Runefaust - Halfling Male – Rogue. Played by Darin Williams
Madame LaRue Owns a Tea shop that also sells magical potions and other herbal concoctions for those in need. She also reads Tarot, palms and of course, tea leaves. Has five children all named Wyaar based on her unrequited love for a human paladin that she once spoke to briefly when she visited Hook City years ago--she is a widow.
Candy BadApple Leader of the halfling pranksters known as the BadApples. She is in her early adolescence and is the oldest of the group, naturally making her the “face” of them all. She is an orphan, born to a rich mother and father over in Angel Springs, but when they both died an untimely death caused by their burrow caving in, Candy was forced to spend her inheritance on their funerals, and rebuilding the burrow. She still owns the burrow in Angel Springs, but would never dare tell anyone of this for fear that the other BadApples wouldn’t accept her anymore.
Hugo & Primula PipeLeaf The best known crafter in the town is Hugo PipeLeaf and he runs the Slings and Arrows shop. Specializing in slings and leatherworking himself, he decided to woo and marry the best blacksmith in Angel Springs, one Primula Pipeleaf. Primula is a beautiful halfling gal, with long flowing red hair, and big green eyes. She does not look like a blacksmith at first sight, but is nevertheless one of the best in Crescent Valley.
Mulberry DrinkWater She is Humble’s Ford’s very own “Beauty Queen.” Although her title is self-proclaimed, it seems that no one ever tries to contest her on the issue. Mulberry is indeed beautiful, and is rather obsessed with staying that way and projecting her image of her as the “Only” Beauty Queen as far and wide as she possibly can.
Pirnook DeepPockets The general store is owned by Pirnook Deeppockets. He is stingy to the bone; however, he is a shrewd businessman and knows which side his bread is buttered, though he hates the phrase. In fact, he keeps a list of annoying things folks say on the outside of his store with a pronouncement that they cannot be uttered inside.
Mayor Bingo BumbleLuck Humble’s Burrow is the traditional home for the current mayor, who is Bingo BumbleLuck. A gossip and social climber of modest ability, he is the perfect mayor for a town full of halflings that don’t fit into the big Angel Springs and its socializing rich folk, or the traditionalists of Hovel.
Second Dinner Club (Veseley Vortence, Tiana Taithen, and Bazeck Breezelee) A loose group of 3 Mages called the Second Dinner Club, lives here and is in charge of maintaining the “Giant Towers” that keep the Giant’s Spring Raids at bay. They succeed mostly, but with difficulty at times. One thing that often goes wrong is when powers other than their own attempt to undo their work to the towers. They reside in the tower near the northern edge of Humbles Ford, and are always experimenting with new things. Sometimes their trial and error method produces major mishaps; but it’s never anything they can’t resolve with a little further experimentation.
High Priest of Flower-- Sarabella LoveSong Despite the reputation of the town, the High Priest of Flower lives here in Humbles Ford. Elderly though she may be, she is almost like the glue that holds the town together. Her daily praises and prayers to her Goddess Flower brings about the “saving grace” of Humbles Ford itself. She firmly believes that it is through her Goddesses love for the flowers of the valley alone that the town remains strong. Even through the hard times Humbles Ford has been facing since they stop trading with the Giantkind, Sarabella’s faith never wavers a bit.
Humble Old One-- McGregor HeadWise The towns Eldest, and wisest Halfling. He lives in a burrow on the northern side of town, and for the most part, stays in his home. His living expenses are mostly paid for by the townsfolk, and they don’t mind a bit. What little gold the Humble Old One does have, it is mostly from gifts to him or tips for his advice and general help to the townsfolk. The people of Humbles Ford are very grateful to have someone like McGregor HeadWise to turn to in times of trouble or when they are in need of advice.
Genokal MoonWhisper Genokal is seen to be the “leader” of sorts to the Hairfeet Clan. He is the one that most of the townsfolk never get the chance to talk to, as when the occasional customer stops by their caravan, Genokal is always busy with something else. He’s always looking over his shoulder, seeming paranoid to most, although won’t ever admit to anyone that he’s ever doing anything wrong. He keeps a sharp eye out for the authorities, and is sure to always be doing something proper, fair and completely legal whenever they come around the Hairfeet Clans’ caravan.
Eldon and Cora TossCobble Eldon (age 70) has served as the town’s “handyman” for as long as any hafling can remember. He and his wife Cora (age 72) were married at a young age and are just as much in love as they were when they first met . Although aged, both have an unrelenting glow and charm that brightens anyone’s day who runs onto them. They are both huge supporters and fans of the “Games of the Little Ones”, as Eldon used to be “quite the athlete in his younger years” according to Cora. The couple picks a team every event and shows them support by having them over for dinner. Eldon takes the mealtime to give advice for the games and show off his medals and “lucky copper coin”.
Theadric Orgulas Theadric (middle-aged) is one of the few, tragic characters in the Ford. Once a daring explorer, Theadric traveled the Crescent Valley with his brother, Bolger. It was after his brother’s death ,while exploringthe Red Hills, that Theadric’s spirit (most believe) was forever shattered. This once hafling adventurer now spends his days as a “pleaser”, travelling between bars and getting free drinks out of pity or respect, from those who know of his loss. Few have the nerve or bravery to approach this man. For as he is considered nothing more than a drunk by casual observers, those with a keen eye know that a resourceful and deadly warrior still lurks behind the dead, pale, blue eyes of this broken halfling.
Rosco Hornblower Roscoe (age 60) is the head of the town’s guard. He is friendly in casual conversation, but serious and determined in matters of the law. Rosco commands a small troop of halfling soldiers known simply as “The Guard”. He rarely has issues greater than bar fights and drunken nuisances, and usually only has his guardsmen escort the offenders back to their respective homes. He has no concern with issues outside of the town and will never send his men to help in such situations. When the “Games” are in full swing, he also serves as a referee, by watching for cheaters. He is a strong believer in fairness in all aspects of the town’s daily life.
Halfred Humble Halfred (age 78) is a kind, old farmer who is adored by all. Halfred’s family started sprawling farm across the river just north of Humble’s Ford, generations ago. It was their discovery of the shallow ford in that very river, that led them to start the town that it was named after. The Humble family has used most of their wealth to develop the town. They are loved by all and considered to be the backbone of the community.
Blossom BumbleLuck – The mayor’s daughter. Very full of herself quite snobby and bossy.
The Belly Buster The Belly Buster is known around the valley for it's spectacular dishes of everything from lamb chops to grilled salmon, from perfectly cooked chicken & eggs to finely aged cheeses of every kind! The BB is a comfortable place of dining and drinking that any Halfling can anjoy Gourmet-style food of their races most favorable choices. Most "Busters" can be found in the tavern chowing down on a different dish almost every night and day. Despite being the home of all of the best dishes in Crescent Valley, The BB has only a few drinks to choose from, but the few that they do have are high quality, fine wines, liquors, and ripe fruit drinks for the children that come with their parents.
The Dancing Pig The Dancing Pig is named for the wild hog that the local hunters tried to bring in for years. When they finally got him, he was trapped instead of killed and set loose in the DP kitchen causing several injuries. The DP, however, after killing it, embraced the pig, cooked him and took on their new name; The Dancing Pig. No one even remembers the previous name of the inn anymore, since all they talk about is the story of how it got its new name. It has a large central fancy dance floor, and a Wold-wide assortment of ales, beers, liquors, wines, whiskeys, rums, and every other tasty drink one could imagine! Most "Pits" can be seen drinking like fish and getting their boogie on in their favorite pub at least 4 nights of any given week.
The North Tower Home to the Second Dinner Club, this is where many of their experiments are tried, tested, and sometimes failed. Instead of living in the side of a hill in a proper Burrow home, the mages built this tower with their own magic, to resemble the Giant Towers to the north. Many times, there has been seen small explosions heard coming from the tower, and small fires or smoke billowing from its windows at odd hours of the day and night.
Flower Temple Dedicated to the Goddess of Love herself, the people of Humbles Ford built this Temple long ago after Flower came here and “Loved the Flowers of the Valley.” It is ran by the High Priest of Flower, Sarabella LoveSong. A good majority of the townsfolk come here often for services, love each other, and to give praise to, or pray to, and all-around worship their Goddess; Flower, the Goddess of Love.
Center for The Enlightened Spirituality & Arcane Arts Located near the Flower Temple, this is a place for parents to send their children to come to learn more about the Gods of the Wold and for those who wish to further their education of Arcana. The CESAA is run with funds provided by the the Flower Temple and the 2nd dinner club. Whether the student is a book-worm Wizard in training, studying spellbooks hard day and night; a neophyte Sorcerer, just learning how to harness their magic; an aspiring Bard, or a Witch experimenting with different mixtures and concoctions, or even a young cleric to be. This all-in-one center of mystical arts is the place to be for a young Halfling just getting started on their path to magical greatness!
General Store The General Store is owned by Pirnook Deeppockets. He is stingy to the bone, and never lets anyone slip through the door without parting with some gold if he can help it. He keeps a list of annoying things folks say on a sign outside of his store with a pronouncement that they cannot be uttered inside. The General Store is one of the bigger shops on the commercial street running north to south in the center of Humbles Ford.
Humbles Burrow Humble’s Burrow is the traditional home for the current mayor, Bingo Humblebutt. It is arguably the largest dwelling in the town, aside from the North Tower, but few can say they’ve actually seen the inside of it. It’s many windows, several chimneys almost always billowing out smoke, and larger than average round double doors set it apart from the other burrows in the northeast residential area of town.
Slings and Arrows The Slings and Arrows shop is one of the busiest buildings in the commercial area. In a prime location on the main road running through town, it is hard to miss Hugo and Primula PipeLeaf’s place of business. Once it was just a shop for Hugo’s wooden crafts and weapons to be sold, but after he married Primula, they couple added another room onto the building to hold all of the armors and metal weapons to be held in as well. The place is always bustling with people wanting new means to protect themselves, and the PipeLeafs are well known to have the best deal in the valley for such things.
The Humble Farm This farm is the major provider of livestock, fruits, vegetables, and textiles for the Hovel, Humble’s Ford, and Angel Springs. It gathers water from both the mountains to the north and the river that it borders. The farm stretches in a long strip of land from the Hovel to just west of Angel Springs. Many halflings make their living working on the farm or by transporting/distributing its plentiful bounty.
Smallholding Farrier Owned by one Primula Pipeleaf. Primula is a beautiful halfling gal, with long flowing red hair, and big green eyes. She does not look like a blacksmith at first sight, but is nevertheless one of the best in Crescent Valley.
Madame La’Rue Herbarium
Humbles Field The Grange Battlefield is the site of a historic battle during the last giant incursion. This year’s site for the war game.
Typical Marching Order
To be added
PCs need 8hrs rest every night to avoid gaining the 'Fatigued' condition. Many casters require an extra hour to recover spells.
- 20:00 - 22:00 : Tendel, Murphy, Sky, Meko
- 22:00 - 01:00 : Kezzem, Shel, Alleah
- 01:00 - 04:00 : Pressi, Alleah
- 04:00 - 07:00 : Bliss, Mookie, Alleah
After spending the first watch preparing spells, Alleah uses one of her Calming Touches to remove the Fatigued condition from herself and thus doesn't require sleep.
A pint-size halfling and his raven familiar are happy to join you for a dessert of pie at The Belly Buster or The Dancing Pig. "Sure," the young halfling says around a mouthful of pie, "I'll tell you all about our adventures. Okay, so you know that there are lots of giants north of here who would love to take over and eat us all, right? And we got these magic towers on the border between us and the giants. And the towers keep giants out. And there are three mages who keep the towers running. That's the Second Breakfast Club. ["That's the Second DINNER Club, Kid" interjects the talking raven.] Yeah, the Second Dinner Club. So anyway, one day we heard they were having problems with one of their towers, so we figured out how to get in the tower just in time for the whole thing to fall over, with us inside it. As the tower was collapsing, we had the chance to escape alive by falling into a magical gate the Breakfast Club ["DINNER Club"] Dinner Club was fooling around with. So we fell into the gate and it took us to Koshe Marr, the land of nightmares, with the Second Dinner Club along for the ride. Only Mookie had ever been there, and we had to deal with the Hunter fellow and the Forest of Glass and some goblin kids we found. One of the Second Dinner mages died, and another was lost, and we got one out with us. So we escaped and brought the goblin kids home. Turns out when we escaped from Koshe Marr we came back to the Wold deep in Izen and six weeks BEFORE we left! We rushed back home to stop the tower from falling before it fell down. We were delayed by orcs and fairies and we did not get back in time! Then we got a message from the lost mage, and we went to rescue him. He was being held captive by a weirdo necromancer, who changed me into a bird, and who we had to kill, but in the end we rescued the mage. Now we need to find the right third mage and get the Dinner Club to fix the broken tower, but in the meantime giants are invading so we have to fight off the giant invasion while finding a mage to help us fix the tower that fell down. [Mookie caws, "Take a breath, Kid. No one understood that."] So that's the story, except for the details like friends we met and lost and how I learned to be a shadowdancer and the cold iron merchant and the giant we rescued ..."
Here you'll find links to all the events and history relevant to this game.
Here are all the resources a DM will need to run this game.
Humble's Ford Fiction
Here are any stories written by or about Humble's Ford Characters/Game Events